Don't mind me. Americans are immune to earthquakes and typhoons.

Last week, Nirasaki had an earthquake drill. Earthquakes in Japan are about as common as the terrifyingly large black and yellow spiders in Japan. There are many. This drill took place after sixth period, and I only became aware of this when I got up from my computer to see the entire school body standing outside. An administrator spoke through a megaphone. Wait, scratch that. Minutes before, a teacher who has never said an English word to me before busted out an entire "Will you stay here?" as he left the teacher's room. Yeah, I'll stay. But shouldn't I know what...

Oh, maybe it's a courtesy. I won't know what's being said anyway, so a co-teacher will translate later. Nothing. Must think back to elementary school. Hands over neck? Forward facing fetal position? No, that's tornadoes. There aren't earthquakes in Georgia. I flipped through the recently received prefecture newsletter. Ah. Get under a desk.

This weekend, we had a typhoon. "Typhoon" seems much less threatening than "hurricane," which is what it is in Anglo terms. Hurricanes seem pretty frightening, like those black and yellow spiders I keep seeing. Several meetings were called to discuss this incoming typhoon, and again, no translation. No sweat. I'll just stay inside all weekend with my raincoat on holding both my umbrellas.

Because of my city's basin location, the bulk of the typhoon was blocked out by the surrounding mountains. It rained the entire day Thursday, and I attempted to bike to the train station holding one of the two aforementioned umbrellas. This is harder than it sounds (though it sounds pretty difficult), and I only tried it because I saw many Japanese people doing it. I do what other people do. Now might be a good time to explain the city streets. Streets should actually be quote-unquoted because they are more like suggested pathways. Unless you’re on a major road, there’s not room for two cars. There’s a lot of pulling over and allowing the other car to get through. Add me on a bike with an umbrella. And throw in a mini-moat on the side of the street. These mini-moats have been named “gaijin traps” by generations of the past, and I won’t argue. When *knock on wood* I fall in, I will weblog the occasion.

Twice a day at Norin, a funereal tone rings five times in a row to show respect for the fertility of land. The proper procedure is to stand up and slightly lower your head. The first time I heard this, a co-teacher said “Oh my god!”

When you are suspended from school in Japan, you go to school and do chores. Why isn’t this the case in America? My co-teachers found this difference quite amusing.

Speaking of chores, there aren’t janitors at school. The students clean daily. At Norin, they play John Denver’s “Take Me Home, Country Roads” over the loudspeakers during cleaning time. This drives me insane, and I only go to Norin twice a week. If I had to clean five times a week while listening to the song, I might be tempted to do something really crazy like mixing the burnables and non-burnables! Oh my god!

On Friday, the vice principal played a prank on one of my co-teachers. He called her on the telephone from the same room. Hilarious. The look on his face was like he had pulled the greatest prank known to man. You know, it kinda was.

Next Monday, I’ll have a day off for “Respecting Your Elders” day. This is a national holiday, and Kasai sensei asked if we had the same thing in America. I told him we fear and ostracize our elders. We send them to Florida.

I finally got a response from waving my Nintendo DS around in the air and asking if anyone had one.
Follow-up question: “What is your favorite video game?”
“I like play sexy game.”
I asked to borrow it. Kids laughed.