Kevin: "Before I came to Japan, I was a journalist." *Holds up Magnet with Conor Oberst on the cover* "Does anyone know what 'journalist' means?"
Student: "You were a model?"
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Thursday, April 17, 2008
A letter to Bill Simmons
Hi Bill,
Greetings from Japan! When you miss a game live, what are the greatest lengths you've ever gone to in order to avoid finding out the score? Here is how I watched the NCAA final "live" from Japan (13 hours ahead of EST).
1. All day at work, I read no news sites.
2. At lunch, I ate hunched down at my desk so that I would not accidentally catch a highlight on the staffroom TV.
3. I judged all e-mails by their sender, opening them only if there was no chance the person would reveal the winner.
4. I pre-emptively sent out e-mails to friends warning them not to tell me the score.
When I got home from work, I remembered the terrible layout of NCAA.com (from watching the rest of the tournament). I'd have to click on a few different links to get to the actual game. To top it off, the final score would be displayed under the PLAY button. So I took off my glasses. I typed NCAA.com into my browser, removed my glasses, and hit enter. Remembering the layout of the site, I half-squinted and clicked a few times until the game popped up. I then resized the window so that only the video would be showing, since the site insists on displaying the score at the bottom of the page. I am not positive, but this may be the first time in history that being blind has helped a sports fan.
Greetings from Japan! When you miss a game live, what are the greatest lengths you've ever gone to in order to avoid finding out the score? Here is how I watched the NCAA final "live" from Japan (13 hours ahead of EST).
1. All day at work, I read no news sites.
2. At lunch, I ate hunched down at my desk so that I would not accidentally catch a highlight on the staffroom TV.
3. I judged all e-mails by their sender, opening them only if there was no chance the person would reveal the winner.
4. I pre-emptively sent out e-mails to friends warning them not to tell me the score.
When I got home from work, I remembered the terrible layout of NCAA.com (from watching the rest of the tournament). I'd have to click on a few different links to get to the actual game. To top it off, the final score would be displayed under the PLAY button. So I took off my glasses. I typed NCAA.com into my browser, removed my glasses, and hit enter. Remembering the layout of the site, I half-squinted and clicked a few times until the game popped up. I then resized the window so that only the video would be showing, since the site insists on displaying the score at the bottom of the page. I am not positive, but this may be the first time in history that being blind has helped a sports fan.
Friday, April 11, 2008
Is "business" two syllables or three?
Hot-sensei, gym clothes
Today, a business suit
Now, Hot Hot-sensei
Today, a business suit
Now, Hot Hot-sensei
Thursday, April 10, 2008
At least I didn't *think* I was turning Japanese.
As the new school year begins, my status as a fake Nihonjin has paved the way for some wonderful moments.
1. As I watched a soccer game after school, the new 1st years on the bench spoke to me in Japanese. "He's not Japanese," said a 2nd year student (in Japanese). "REALLY?! WHAA?" (in Japanese). Then they tried to sub me into the game.
2. Before the opening ceremony started, a 1st year student needed, from what I now gather, to know where to put his shoes. On his very first day of high school, he nervously looked around for a lifeline. Squeaky and half out of breath, he asked the Japanese teacher wearing a suit what to do with his shoes. This Japanese teacher was me, who obviously (in his mind) thought it would be hilarious to give the new kid a hard time and say, "Sorry, I understand just a little Japanese." He stood there crestfallen and blank-faced while I pointed to another teacher for help. I then introduced myself and extended my arm for a handshake. He was possibly still in disbelief or thinking I pranked him, for his handshake was more akin to a tender squeeze of my fingers. Cheer up, kid. Not everyone in high school is a jerk like me.
1. As I watched a soccer game after school, the new 1st years on the bench spoke to me in Japanese. "He's not Japanese," said a 2nd year student (in Japanese). "REALLY?! WHAA?" (in Japanese). Then they tried to sub me into the game.
2. Before the opening ceremony started, a 1st year student needed, from what I now gather, to know where to put his shoes. On his very first day of high school, he nervously looked around for a lifeline. Squeaky and half out of breath, he asked the Japanese teacher wearing a suit what to do with his shoes. This Japanese teacher was me, who obviously (in his mind) thought it would be hilarious to give the new kid a hard time and say, "Sorry, I understand just a little Japanese." He stood there crestfallen and blank-faced while I pointed to another teacher for help. I then introduced myself and extended my arm for a handshake. He was possibly still in disbelief or thinking I pranked him, for his handshake was more akin to a tender squeeze of my fingers. Cheer up, kid. Not everyone in high school is a jerk like me.
Thursday, April 3, 2008
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