Thursday, August 30, 2007

Rollercoaster... of whaa?

After day 1 of school, I was ready to leave Japan. I considered the cons in departing, in having to pay for my ticket home and accepting failure. Teaching? What was I thinking? There's no A/C in the classroom, every student is on their cell phone or sleeping, and my co-teacher is grinning as if it's business as usual. I'm doing a self-introduction lesson three to five times a day (meaning I talk about myself for 50 minutes straight), and I'll be doing it for another two weeks.

I am Kevin's beating heart. Please answer me when I ask if you have a Nintendo DS. Everyone in this country has a DS. Are you no one?

Day 2, in the improperly used words of Jason Kidd, was a complete 360 turnaround. (He was going for 180.) I met up with some JETs after school on Monday, and I asked if they got the same blank stares that I was receiving. I was told to think back to high school Spanish. Did anyone care then? Would anyone care now? I tried to embrace the great times I'd had in the past month, and I took that into school on Day 2. I tried harder to be myself, which is the hardest thing you can do.

And something happened.

The kids perked up. They answered questions. One student, who reminds me of the talk-show host Matthew (seen in Lost In Translation), would inexplicably stand up at random times during class and yell "I ruv Kevin!" (in the talk-show host kind of way).

Another student, in a similar vein, would raise his hand throughout class.
"What is your favorite sport?"
"I love you."
"Who knows why peaches grow in both Yamanashi and Georgia?"
"I love you, Kevin."
Later, I walked by his desk and said, "So you love me, huh?"
He hung his head and smiled.

On Day 3, I went to my other school, Norin High School, which specializes in Agriculture and Horticulture.

The good vibes from day 2 carried on, and I found out that I have a third year (seniors) elective class (meaning they want to be there) two periods in a row. These kids were especially great, and they understood much more. One girl looked exactly like Sara Kim from my 3rd grade, and another one was the Japanese version of Kyle Berkman, Mr. Levitt's friend from LA. I need a picture of this guy. It's uncanny. This class took a special interest in me after I played a song that I wrote, and they wanted a Japanese translation and to know who it was about. This, of course, resulted in my co-teacher asking if it was rude to ask if I was married. Did I have a girlfriend? I was quickly reminded of a story Tyler told me just the day before, of how this line of questioning follows form. 1. Married? 2. Girlfriend? 3. Gay? I thought I would nip this in the bud by answering yes to #2, but that only spurred more questions. Umm, she lives in America. Her name is Art Vandelay.

One of the best things I've heard this month happened here, and that was a student doing an American accent. My accent, to be exact. Do I sound like Clint Eastwood on a ferry headed down the Mississippi?

Today, a very enthusiastic third year student at Nirasaki approached me. His English was quite good, and I am sorry I will not be teaching him (as I only get first and second years). He tried to say "I don't have your class this year," but he ended up saying, "Your class is nothing this year." Domo arigato gozaimasu.

Sunday, August 26, 2007

The internet, sorta

Thanks to my lovely neighbors, Priscilla and Chris, I may or may not have the internet in my apartment right now. I may or may not be typing this while I sit in my apartment that may or may not have access to the internet. How they managed to get it set up two weeks before my scheduled installation when they arrived in Japan one week after me, well, I may or may not know. You can now find me on AIM. Just know that I exist 13 hours in the future (for those on the east coast).

On Saturday, I went with a group of friends to see Dragon Park, which is roughly a twenty minute bike ride from my home. It’s all uphill, which makes the ride back quite easy (especially if you just ran around playing soccer for a few hours).

Like many things I have seen in Japan, the facilities are immaculate. Take a look at these badboys. Umm, nix that. The sorta internet is not letting me post pictures. Soon, friends.

We played a few small-sided games, the second one with two high school kids. We later discovered that one of them was on the Ventforet junior squad (the prefecture’s professional team), and he possessed the skills to back it up.

It was a hot day, and the sprinklers and fountains attracted tiny children wearing only underwear.

At night, we went out to Kiyosato, a mountainous area to the northwest of Ryuo. It’s at least 10 degrees cooler out there, and we had a lovely hamburger and pasta dinner at a café called Back Country, which we have renamed Bat Country as a tribute to general humor and Hunter S. Thompson.

We went to Tyler’s apartment for some chit-chat, and Tiffany drank sake from juice boxes and ate ice cream with chopsticks.

Friday, August 24, 2007

Let me clear my throat

I'm currently watching a group of students play rock, paper, scissors to decide who will have to eat the licorice jelly beans in the batch that I brought. It is hilarious. One student cringes as the flavor hits his tongue. It is possible this student has never tasted licorice before. His classmates laugh. More gather around.

This morning, I gave a speech to the whole school. I will be teaching 1st and 2nd years (sophomores and juniors in high school), and there are already 360 of those. I guess I spoke to 500 people? Massive. The first half of my speech was in Japanese, and the second was in English and translated by Kagami sensei. I've mentioned this before, but there isn't sarcasm in Japan. I am unarmed in this battle of wits.

After the speech, the teachers examined each and every student for haircut regulations. Your entire ear must be showing, and your hair cannot grow beyond your eyebrows. I would venture to say that more than half of the students were in violation, as they just returned from a one-month vacation. Still, each student seemed to fuss with his hair in order to fudge the requirement. One student gave me the thumbs-up, pointed to his hair, and told me to say "Good job," as if this would save him from the shears. Teachers held clipboards with columns and check marks. Kagami sensei asked about dress-codes in the States and cited this as a reason for some students wanting to move across the Pacific. So far, the two things I miss about America are the trash cans (they hide here) and the napkins (ditto).

I will teach my first three lessons on Monday, with a teacher I have yet to meet. I am not sure how this will work synergy-wise, but I suppose synergy is a lofty demand. If I get out alive, it will be a great day.

I have created a crossword puzzle filled with fun facts about myself. Did you know that I was born in Detroit? I often forget.

---

Random info: I never realized how often I clean my glasses until I started wearing collared shirts to work. Try wiping away the smudges with your shirt tucked in.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Football is football

On Monday night, I got my first taste of Japanese soccer. Irish Dave invited himself to the prefectural team practice, and I, in turn, invited myself. Kentucky Chris, also known as the Governor for his political ambitions, rounded out the new male ALTs, while British Becks (what a soccer name!) and Jamaican Ayesha represented the women.

There are two tournaments a year held in Nagano for the JET teams, but there are weekly practices and games here and there. Over the years, the Yamanashi crew has made a bunch of Japanese friends, so the majority of people who showed up were not ALTs. Sports and extracurricular activities are highly valued in the Japanese school system, so it’s easy to find some quality talent.

As this was my first experience with soccer in Japan, it was also the first time meeting South American Japanese people. Peruvian, to be exact. They speak Japanese. They speak Spanish. They speak English. They are good at soccer. The game is the same everywhere. This might be the simplest way to learn Japanese.

We rented out a nearby high school field for $2 a person, but the best part is that you can play under the lights. I haven’t done this since high school, and I forgot just how nice it is to play in a breeze without the sun. No offense, sun. I still have a crush on you.
Since there was a large turnout, we split into three teams and played 10 minute games on small goals. The pace was quick (as there was little grass), and everyone out there had some fancy moves on display.

Thinking back a bit, I wrote a college application essay on the universality of soccer. It’s possible I was pulling crap out of crapola back then, but this was words in action. The game is the same everywhere. I missed a lot of easy shots and I nutmegged the keeper, and we all spoke without words. I cut up my leg and bandaged it with a cotton ball and a rubber band. People said it would take away circulation, and I argued citing low elasticity.

I think they liked me, they really liked me, because I was asked to swing around next week. I might. I just might.

Sunday, August 19, 2007

With our powers combined



On Monday and Tuesday of this past week, we gathered in Kofu for our local orientation. Groups A and B have finally combined into one supergroup, which is much less glamorous than it sounds. As a collective, we are still very much running around sans head. In other words, we’re more Audioslave, less Justice League.

First order of business was a meeting with the vice governor of the prefecture. He said many things we did not understand, but we benefited from translation courtesy of one Jonathan Smith. If you can come up with a better name than John Smith for an American CIR (Coordinator of International Relations), I will buy you two Cokes. He plays bossa nova piano.

One line from the vice governor that stuck out was when he called Yamanashi the kingdom of fruit. You could sense a group smirk among the ALTs, and the joke continued with imagined tales of pineapple kings and queens. And by continue, I mean we’re still talking about it. It’s been a week.


Since Yamanashi is famous for its fruits and wines, what better place to visit than Fruits Park (where we investigated this so-called patriarchy of fruit). Little evidence was found, but I did eat a grape popsicle in a gift shop. Others purchased wine. Oddly, there was no actual fruit available.

Finally, we went on a guided tour of the prefectural museum. Almost everything was in Japanese, but I got the gist. People once did things one way, and it was tough. We should remember the old days since it is easier now. There were a few interactive simulations of the ways of yore, and a tiny Japanese girl walked into a small hut with long, horizontal poles on each side. Her parents hoisted her up in the air on their shoulders. Japanese children are ridonculous.

Everyone was put up in the Wel City Hotel in downtown Kofu, so karaoke commenced shortly after dinner. Not too much to report there, but Canadian Nick did leave the spot with his necktie around his forehead. Very Davy Crocket chic.

Wednesday:

Lisa Tauber from Americatown visited. We walked around hot, hot Kofu and drank lots of cold, cold water.

At night, we attended Kagami sensei’s son’s rock concert, or live, as it is known around here. The whole ride over, she insisted the band was still learning and the music had a long way to go. The music was amazing; a lot of shredding, piercing riffs mixed with a ballad here and there. A few days before the show, I gave Kagami sensei a copy of the few tracks I recorded in college with Mr. Levin and Mr. Levitt aka Rob Fleming’s Ghost. Her very ecstatic son greeted me and said: “You have the best music.” Hyperbole. Her son, 17, had a great stage presence, so I called him a rock star after the show. I think it translates. On the ride home, I asked Kagami sensei if her son had a lot of girlfriends. He had one recently, but due to the girl being very smart, she told him to wait a year while she gets through her studies. Kagami sensei said he probably will not wait.

Random bits from here and there:

Bikes in Japan use a different pumping valve. In an attempt to add a little air to my front tire, I deflated the entire thing. The pump I have doesn’t seem to work, so I took the bike back to the shop. The nice man seemed quite perplexed that I had a flat tire that wasn’t punctured. He made a circle with his thumb and index on one hand and pointed his other index finger into the circle. This, undoubtedly, is the international symbol for a punctured tire.

Everyone in this country has a Nintendo DS. I always do what other people do, so I ordered one off Amazon.co.jp. I now have a note that I believe says I missed delivery. I have no idea how to read this note. I will find a translator tomorrow.

Sunday, August 12, 2007

Tokyo Drifting

What better way to spend a Saturday than to take the bus into Tokyo. A round trip ticket costs $36, and the ride is very similar to how I used to get up to New York from Philly. Roughly two hours on a charter bus. Heavy traffic entering the city a la the Lincoln Tunnel. A reclining chair.

We (Tiffany, Amanda, Seth — a feller from Cherry Hill, NJ, so we know much of the same sites and sights back West) got there around noon, so we grabbed a bite to eat in Shinjuku. The aroma of restaurants often creeps into the city streets, and I often follow my nose. Here’s a photo of the meal:


The orange soupy substance was left untouched after one sip, as the texture resembled, um, snot. The flavor was fine.

We wandered into an underground store labeled BATTLE ARENA. As we were certain this could only be something amazing, we traversed those downward steps without hesitation. Below, we discovered the battle arena, where various arcade fighting games were set up. You can watch the featured game on a big screen, so we watched. The red Transformeresque character defeated the blue one by shooting a series of lasers and rockets. A kid raised his arms and shouted with great glee.

Afterward, we got on the subway to visit Harajuku, the fashion-conscience area popularized in the States by one Gwenavere Stefani. In the two orientations we had back in Atlanta, former ALTs mentioned the conservative dress we’d surely encounter in Japan. This did not hold true in Harajuku. In fact, this hasn’t held true anywhere. When girls go out, they get their hair did. Harajuku was less hipster, more Park Ave than I had imagined, and I picked up a few shirts that fit me. We walked into “Snoopy Land,” and the sign was correct. That’s a lot of Snoopy-related paraphernalia.

We walked down to Shibuya, and one intersection closely resembled Times Square. Lots of people crossing the street at the same time. Lots of people, including us, taking pictures of people crossing the street at the same time.

We hopped on the subway again, hoping to reach Ripponge Hills, where the famous Mori Tower stands. We didn’t quite get there on the first try, but a quick cab ride sealed the deal. From the top of Mori Tower, you can get a panoramic view of Tokyo. Here is a non-panoramic view of Tokyo:




Finally, we headed back to Shinjuku to catch a bus back to Kofu. We reserved our seats and went to the nearby Keio Plaza for dinner. We left the restaurant at 8:21, thinking that would be plenty of time to catch the 8:30 bus outside. The only hitch came when we exited the elevator and had no idea where we were. We also couldn’t find an exit as each exit sign led to more exit signs and no exits. When we finally got outside, it was 8:24, but we still had no idea which side of the Keio we were on. There was running. Lots. There was running in the wrong direction. Tiffany got to the bus at 8:30. She stalled. Somehow.

Back in Kofu, the group B welcome party was taking place, so we met up at the Rink, another bar keen to foreignors. There was singing. There was guitaring. I got the inside dirt on so and so and who and who. So and so likes so. We first thought so and so was gay. Who and who used to date who. I think they still like each other. Here are some peeps:




A few friends crashed at my pad as it was the nearest domicile with space. (Because of the different train lines and locations, some people have to leave Kofu around 8:30 pm in order to get home. We combat this by opening up our doors and laying down our futons.)

Before resting our heads, we walked through the drive-through of McDonalds. It seemed to be the first day of the guy working, so in addition to the language barrier, he didn’t know how to work the machine once we conveyed our orders. Classic. He was a super nice guy, and Irish Dave told him this in Japanese. I bowed.


Friday, August 10, 2007

Hello, hello

I just delivered the first of many self-introduction speeches. I knew I would be meeting all the teachers today, but I only knew of the speech about three minutes before takeoff. It went well, I think.

Here's a paraphrased transcript:

(All in Japanese, mind you.)

"Good morning. My name is Kevin Lo. I am American. I don't understand Japanese *laughter*, but I understand English well *more laughter*."

I then said a few things in English that Kasai sensei (baseball manager and one of the teachers I'll be working with) translated, and I finished it all off with a Japanese phrase that sorta means "Nice to meet you," "I hope we have a nice friendship," and various other things. In Japanese, many phrases can mean a variety of things. Sumimasen, for instance, is used in almost every circumstance. It can mean "I'm sorry" and "Excuse me." It can be randomly thrown into speech, and it's often but not always used by anyone working in a store when you walk in or walk by them.

Just a few minutes ago, a teacher walked up to me and said, "Speech. Ema." Ema means now, and he wanted me to follow him to the assembly hall. There were a lot of people in this assembly hall, and I was previously told I'd give a speech to the students a week from now. I thought I was going to be doing this right now (!) instead, but Kasai sensei was there to say otherwise. It was a speech by the principal and other administrators.

I just left a tin can of jelly beans in the teacher's room. I will see how many are left on Monday.

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Surely illegal in other countries

Last night was the annual Ichikawadaimon Fireworks Festival. I went to it. The train was packed to capacity, and it seemed everyone in the country was there. Lots of women wore kimonos, and lots of women wore very little. The running joke so far has been that many Japanese women could pass for any age between 15 and 35. As I am not so good with numbers yet, this could prove troublesome. I will keep to myself as a precaution.

We had a tarp reserved for us in a great spot, and we took off our shoes to get onto this aforementioned tarp. Since we were sitting on a hill and the tarp's coefficient of friction was below 1 (or is above 1 slippier?), we slid. Removing our respective socks proved to be helpful.

As noted in the headline, it should be illegal to be this close to fireworks. They were going off above our heads. "A Whole New World," "The Circle Of Life," and various other Disney classics soundtracked the explosions. I've seen fireworks, but nothing like this. The artistry, creativity, and sheer ingenuity was astounding. When I finally get the intanetto at home (in a month!), I'll post videos. In between each set of fireworks was a word from the sponsors. I wonder if this would annoy me if I could understand who exactly was sponsoring the festivities.

I ate some teriyaki chicken off sticks (for a fitting festival price of $10) and drank a few Sapporos ($4).

Leaving the festival was even harder than getting there, as thousands of people tried to board the same train at the same time. Despite a long wait, I've never witnessed such an orderly procession. These are the types of situations that only result in rioting, bloodshed, and spilt milk (in other countries). The only glimpse of chaos was a trash can with bottles falling out of it.

Monday, August 6, 2007

School's out for summer


In Japan, teachers work even when the students are out on vacation. On my desk was a large stack of papers with introductions and welcomes from the students. Each one had the same opening section: "Hello, Kevin. Welcome to Nirasaki Technical High School. We hope that you will enjoy yourself in Japan." Below that portion, each student wrote a little about him or herself, typically involving "I like -----." "Do you like -----?" A handful of students wrote "girls," "make love" or "sex." There were some unknown answers, such as "Billy's Boot Camp," so I suppose I'll have to do some Gizoogling. Oh, it's Tae Bo. Billy is Billy Blanks.


In Japan, people rarely ask you to do something directly. The phrasing is more like "It might be better" or "Maybe you would prefer to..." Kagami sensei said it might be better to write something back to each student, so that's what I did. "I like dogs." "I like soccer." I did not answer the scandalous questions.

Sunday, August 5, 2007

Townies + Downtown

I got my first “real” local experience on Friday night. It was spec-tac-ular. I left the internet café around 22:00 (yeah, I totally went there) with little to do and too much time before bed, so I decided to visit the bar, or izakaya, located near my apartment.

I walked in and noticed four men—age 50 or so—in baseball uniforms. They didn’t notice me. I ordered a beeru (guess what that is), and a woman who appeared to be the “mom” of this “mom and pop” establishment brought me an Asahi bottle and a tiny cup. Everything is tiny in this country. I am still adjusting.

Roughly ten minutes passed, and I couldn’t muster up the courage to speak to these very jolly gentlemen. The bartender (pop) noticed my isolation, so he began to entertain me by commenting (I think) on the television program above my head. A man was singing. Then a woman sang. There were shiny costumes.

I finally uttered the magic word (eigo : English), and the room changed. The men turned and began to talk. One walked over and brought another beer for me. I got the “Kevin Costner” thing once again, but it felt a bit more warranted considering they were in baseball uniforms. Bull Durham, anyone? Field of Dreams? But when I said “Field of Dreams,” I was met with blank stares.
Again, the dance of limited vocabulary ensued, but this time I tried to relate. “Dice-K” delivered some smiles. “Matsui” got some more. “Nakata” hit hard, since he was a real playa’ back in the day at Nirasaki High School. I’ll be teaching at the technical level, but I’m told there is quite a rivalry between the two schools in soccer.
“A, L, T?” asked Akio san, and I nodded and smiled. It seems the townies know of Assistant Language Teachers. He gave me his business card (it’s what people do here) and told me he lived just down the street. I don’t believe I’ll be calling, but the gesture felt grand.

Saturday:
We, the Yamanashi group A folks, met in downtown Kofu (the capital of my prefecture, only one stop east—five minutes—on the very efficient train) for a little dinner and barring. First stop was Capppriciosa (yes, three p’s), an Italian restaurant. This was true fusion, as each course tasted oddly Italian and Japanese at the same time. One dish—a breaded, fried rice ball in marinara sauce—almost tasted Mexican. I felt as if a spontaneous group sing-along to “We Are The World” would not have been out of place. I got to meet some of the JETs who had renewed from last year, and I think there will be a few keepers.

Next we headed over to “The Vault,” a bar geared towards foreignors. There was hip-hop on the jukebox, darts, pool and liquor you readily find in the States. I excitedly ordered a Suntory whiskey and Coke, only to have the waitress return and have me point between Jack Daniels, Maker’s Mark, etc. I drank a nice heifewezen, lost and won a game of pool, and tried hard not to laugh at the Americans attempting to pick up Japanese women. In this one week in Japan, I’ve already begun to notice recurring trends. I’ve also noticed recurring “types,” as in “types of people” who choose to move to Japan. One type is the extremely nerdy white guy who would have a tough time in America dating anyone, much less talking to anyone who breathes oxygen into his or her lungs to maintain life. The “NWG” moves to Japan, knows very little Japanese, and tries to impress Japanese women—I have a feeling it could be any Asian woman—with various “moves” that, to be honest, hurt my brain. I prefer not to get into details, and the worst part of it all is that these “moves” work. Many of these NWGs never leave Japan again. Go figure.

Best thing about the Vault: Pool is free! There is just one table, so you respectfully limit your playing time. No one puts up a fuss! If this happened in America, someone would be chewing pool chalk in the first ten minutes.

The last train back to Ryuo was at midnight, which is sorta lame, but the cleanliness and preciseness of the train system is a nice change from Philly. There, I could be on the last train and still miss it. OK, that’s a stretch. Nick, the only new Canadian in the prefecture, crashed at my pad since he’s hours away. He’s pretty Canadian. We discussed gun control and politics.

Sunday:
At dinner on Saturday, I exchanged information with two girls, Tiffany and Amanda, who live in the same apartment complex in Yamanashi city (which is a few train stops east of Kofu). We agreed to meet up and explore Kofu some more, so that’s what we did. In my goal to pack light in the States, I forgot the necessity for a pair of tennis/running shoes. I bought a pair today, and for the first time in my life, I had to buy the largest pair they had. These are some serious kicks, and they only cost $40. I was so happy with them I even referred to them as “biscuits,” which I hear is the terminology all the cool kids are using these days. They might be too pretty to run in. I defeated the purpose.




I had some wonderfully Southern-tasting iced tea, and we walked up Kofu Castle and a nearby temple/cemetery. Assuming my phone was doing the trick, here are some pictures I took with the camera that is built into my cellular phone that I carry around to call people.








I had some great peach ice cream, which may or may not have been made from fish, and I chewed on some grape gum. A vending machine (which are EVERYWHERE) swallowed my change. To make matters worse, it was the first time I’d seen Gatorade in a week. I was too crushed to try again.

I just received a call from Kagami sensei, and it turns out I will be working tomorrow. Sweet. I’m back, baby.

Friday, August 3, 2007

So many lights

Not a ton to report today. I did some supermarket shopping and checked out the electronics store.

I picked up some Udon and visited the ingredients aisle to try to find that lovely sauce typically used to douse the noodles. Everything looked like regular soy sauce, so I asked a lady. I pointed at different bottles and said "Udon?" The woman found a bottle and said "Water. Mix." She pointed at a chart on the back that read 1 -- 1, so I'll try an even mix. I also got some sushi for 780 yen. It was remarkable, though the package contained no wasabi. Weh-sabi.

The electronics store was exactly what I thought it would be. Crazy sounds and colors coming at you from every direction.

I ran into another JET, Lauren, who was trying to set up her internet. She passed a laptop back and forth with the clerk, typing into the babelfish translator. I wonder if she got hooked up. I was actually pretty shocked to see her, since I have no idea who is close to me. People are probably still trying to get their internet and cell phone set up, and the directory given to us at orientation is a little misleading. It lists people by what school they are teaching at, not where they live. So according to the map, no one teaches in my city, not even me. There must be a better way.

I forgot to mention the best thing about my bike in yesterday's post: the name. Whereas my last bicycle was called "The Pickle," my Japanese bike is called "Nice Friend."

Thursday, August 2, 2007

Ladies and gentlemen, start your bike engines?

It might be a good time to mention that I'll be working at two different technical high schools during my stay in Japan. Today, I was shown around by my main contact/team-teacher at Norin Koku.

I don't think Sano sensei received a picture of me the way Kagami sensei did, so when I opened the door to my apartment, she wasn't sure if she was in the right place. "Ke-vin?" she asked. In the car, she said, "I don't want to be rude, but can I ask where you are from? Because you look Japanese."

I mentioned my name stamp in a previous post, but I didn't mention (or know) that I'd have to get it officially registered at the city office. That's what we tried to do today. Again, the process is quite detailed, so I am now waiting for a letter in the mail to prove I live where I say I do. Sano sansei apologized for the red tape, and she said that it's become even more difficult in recent years due to "evil people" doing "evil things." People like R. Kelly?

The best part of the whole ordeal was Sano sensei's reference to "Kevin" Costner. This is not the first time this has been said. I fear it is not the last. Part of the confusion stems from the whole reversal of first and last names, not to mention the fact that Japanese people don't have middle names. For the record, I am not related to Costner Kevin.

Next, we visited Norin High School, an agricultural school, and I was served a succulent piece of yellow watermelon grown by the students. Sano sensei asked if I got yellow watermelon in Atlanta, or just red. Yellow is not THAT common here, but she tells me it is a special occasion. Another teacher says the same thing, and he kind of laughs. If this were in the States, I'd suspect sarcasm. I'm told sarcasm doesn't exist here, so I will not be able to tell any jokes. Or talk, period.

A trend that I am noticing is how favors are often explained. For instance, people usually have to pay several months of rent in advance, called "Thank You" money. The whole process of "Thank You" money is explained to me before I am told I will not have to pay it.

When I meet the vice principal, he kind of points at me and then grasps at his cheeks and says something to Sano sensei. She says "Taiwan," so I can only guess that the vice principal liked my Asian face.

Just like at Nirasaki High School, everyone is incredibly nice and sorta taken aback that an Asian person could speak American English.

When we leave Norin, we go to the train station so I can figure out how to get to school before I get my car insurance, title, etc. An interesting thing about Japanese laws is how a lot of them rely on the school system. To get car insurance, the school must first approve. The train system seems very efficient, and Sano sensei tells me that the trains are rarely behind schedule. On Saturday, I will have to hop on one by myself to go to a gathering in Kofu city. The cost is 180 yen, about 1.50 USD.

Last, we go to a hardware store to buy a bike. Sano sensei tells me I'll have to bike home if I buy one, since she has a small car. She probably has one of the larger cars I've seen, and it's still tiny. When I sit in the passenger seat (on the left), I feel as if someone has stolen my steering wheel. I pretend to use mind control to drive the car.

After living in Philly, it's remarkable how the bike system works here. And by "remarkable," I mean there is actually a bike system. I paid 500 yen, less than 5 dollars, to have my bike registered with the police department. Every bike has its own lock on the back wheel, and you have to keep the key in the slot in order to bike! People usually don't lock the bikes to structures, so they are very much like cars. I also get a free year-long warranty.

I just ate dinner at McDonalds. The fries taste the same, and the burger is a little juicier. The Big Mac is called the Mega Mac. McFlurries are still McFlurries.

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

Glory, glory

I've made it to Ryuo. I've met important people. Ridiculous things have happened.

The Yamanashi group took a bus this morning and headed to Kofu, the prefecture's capital. The ride was through some beautiful mountains, and I had some time to bond with Tiffany (a journalism and arts major from NorCal) and Irish Dave (he's Irish).

But flash forward for a second while I explain how I am even able to be posting this right now.

Mark (my predecessor) left a nice map in the apartment (more on this later), so I took it upon myself to walk to the "internet cafe." I found a curry restaurant along the way, and I sat down and ate curry. I walk in and say, "Sorry, I don't understand Japanese." The waitress says a lot, very quickly, and seats me. I find a picture of rice and curry that looks appetizing and I point to it. The waitress opens the menu and points at some random numbers, so I say "I don't understand" (in Japanese). She points at them again, and I say "OK" (in Japanese). The curry is delicious.

Here comes the fun part. I decide that saying "Do you understand English?" might be better than "I don't understand Japanese," as the latter could imply that I only speak some other Asian language. I say this to the clerk at the internet cafe, and she runs away. She brings back another clerk, who I assume speaks English. She certainly does not. A dance of limited vocabulary ensues, as she keeps saying "use" and "time," and I keep saying "yes" and "one hour." This goes nowhere. I start to consult my Japanese-English dictionary, and she flips through it to find the Japanese meanings of "use" and "time." This does not help. She keeps telling me prices while I keep saying OK, but apparently I am missing something. This goes on for roughly ten minutes. Finally, she runs to the computer and does a Yahoo search (do they not Google over here?) for Japanese-English translation.

This is what pops up:

"Sightseeing trip."

She points at it and says "Yes?"

I say "No." I really wonder what she put in there.

Next comes "It is near Yamanashi this?"

I say "Ryuo," which in hindsight is really stupid because that's where we both are. I thought maybe she wondered where I lived.

Finally, "Only this time, free for use" pops up on the screen. It's a short term fix because I might want to walk in here tomorrow. I decide to call my supervisor (more on Kagami sensei later) and have her translate over the phone. It turns out I needed to fill out an application with my name and address and show my passport. I heard the clerk say "passport" over the phone! Why didn't she didn't say it to me? It's all I needed!

Then again, it was totally worth it to see "Sightseeing trip" on the screen.

Let's take it back to the start. I think I just quoted Coldplay.

Kagami sensei was waiting for me at the Kofu station with a giant yellow sign that read "KEVIN." That's me. Kagami sensei is fluent in English, and she whisks me away for lunch. We go to a sushi place, and it's some of the best I've had. The sushi spirals around this long track in between all the booths, and you just grab what you want. If you place a special order (on a touch screen at your table), this toy bullet train shoots up to your table carrying the dish.

Kagami sensei has a son and two daughters, and her son seems to share all the same interests as me. He plays music, loves soccer, etc. Kagami sensei is very interested in my time as a music journalist, and she is extremely gracious that I express an interest in her son's music.

Next, we go to get my alien registration card, set up my bank account, and turn on the utilities in my apartment. This comes as no shock to me, but there is a LOT of paperwork involved. There are minute details with no room for error. What's funny is that even Kagami sensei is surprised by the amount of detail. I fill out the same form at the bank about four times, once because I didn't capitalize my entire name. I made an error on the year (it's year 19 according to the Japanese calendar), and I have to stamp my name next to the error. Yes, I have a stamp. I need to use it on everything. (Later, my English signature will make people laugh. I do not know why.)

We head over to the school, where I'm delighted to see a huge soccer field out front. There is a game or practice going on (there are no fans yet full uniforms).

We enter the teacher's room, and the teachers give me a passing glance. Kagami sensei introduces me, and the looks are priceless. This guy speaks English?, they seem to say. One teacher says something to Kagami sensei, and she says to me: Do you know "ni hao?" I certainly do. It means hello.

I meet the headmaster, who gives off this almost palpable sense of honor. They plan for when I will meet with the teachers more formally. We visit another room where I fill out some more paperwork. I am served cold tea (didn't know this was a thing here) and given a school calendar. Everyone seems incredibly nice and happy to meet me. The attitude is very jovial.

Ah, now the apartment. It's gorgeous. There's one room with a traditional mat (which feels amazing on your feet), a living area, and a large kitchen/eating area. The apartment feels very large since all the rooms are connected by sliding doors. I have an outdoor deck where I can hang my clothes. When you flush the toilet, the tank fills up from above/outside so you can save water by washing your hands right there!

The utilities man shows up, and he's overly sincere. I figure utilities workers are simply nicer in Japan, but Kagami sensei later mentions how uncommon it is. She jokes that he was almost like a woman!

Lastly, I got a cell phone. This is a ridiculous cell phone. It was free. I don't think I will ever understand all the features on it. If this phone could talk (by itself, smartass), it would be like, "Whaddup, iPhone. You lame." Kagami sensei jokes that we can change my plan to a family one when I get a girlfriend or wife. She's funny. I like her.

Tomorrow, I will hopefully find out how to use the train to get to school.

Some closing remarks

I'm leaving Tokyo today, and I'm headed for my host institution in the Yamanashi prefecture by bus. Here are a few things you should know:

1. Last night, the Yamanashi group went out for dinner and karaoke. I literally made it "Suntory time," and I got my whiskey on. There is no tipping in Japan, so the waiters (at least last night) can pull some Houdini action. In the karaoke rooms, there is a phone to order drinks. There was a max per order of four beers, but the waiters seemed to both abide by and break this rule. Remember Sugar Ray? We sang Sugar Ray.

2. The mirror in the bathroom is magical. When you take a hot shower and steam it up, there is a section of the mirror that does not fog. I can look at myself as I exit the shower. Thanks, Japan.

3. The toilet handle is not connected to the toilet. Is the entire bathroom magical?

4. I will miss the ATLiens I have come to know over the past few days. Mr. Tyler (co-conspiritor from the ATL group), we must represent in the nasty 'Nashi.

5. It might be a while before I have consistent internet action again. I apologize for the inconvenience, but please stay tuned.